Sometimes the site is named after a specific leader, yet \u00a0this is <\/span>grave site allocated for all the \u00a0leaders of the state – Presidents and Prime Ministers<\/span><\/p>\n I suggest that this site will be\u00a0similarly\u00a0named after Neal Miller – but it will be a place to\u00a0remember\u00a0other leaders in neuroscience, psychotherapy, behavioral medicine and biofeedback<\/span><\/p>\n Hershel<\/span> Toomim passed away at 4 am Tuesday \u00a0July 19, 2011. A recent article (by Dave Siever)<\/span> in Biofeedback (<\/span>Volume 36, Issue 2, pp. 74-8) describes the full history of this great inventor.<\/a><\/p>\n I choose to share with the\u00a0readers\u00a0of this site a short poem-like that Hershel shared with me and allowed me to circulate .<\/p>\n Hershel Gave it the name “Who I want to be for you”<\/p>\n Hershel read it to a group of biofeedback practitioners in Israel in a virtual conference that was dedicated to Hemoencephalography<\/p>\n Being the man he is he choose to speak with us not only about his research but also about his belief and he read us this piece.<\/p>\n Arnon Rolnick<\/p>\n \n Who I want to be for you<\/span><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will remember that you need love as much as I do<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will give signs of love generously with praise, hugs<\/p>\n and passion<\/p>\n \n I will never say things to that I know will hurt you<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will speak the words of love only when I truly feel them, then I will speak freely<\/p>\n \n I will look for ways to enhance your self-esteem<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will will recognise your need to be heard and do my best to listen<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will <\/em>w[ll try to understand the underlying message conveyed by your words<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will look to the underlying issues in both of us rather than look to blame<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will strive to look to imprints that you carry from childhood relationships and\u00a0 take care to avoid areas where you have been wounded<\/p>\n \n I will express the needs I expect to be essential to you and not expect you to read my mind<\/p>\n \n I understand that you cannot understand all my needs perfectly<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will find alternatives that will not damage our relationship when you cannot meet my needs<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will carefully consider whether the gifts I choose to give are those you truly want<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will make sure any criticism is given in private in a way that will not shame you<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will choose my battles carefully evaluating which issues are so important tome that they are not negotiable<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will support you in pursuit of your interests and will encourage your curiosity and zest for lifemake sure<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will respond to your desires sexually as I as I wish you you to respond to mine<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will remind myself to magnify your positive qualities and use selective inattention for your negative ones<\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will work at being the right partner for you<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will commit to working on this relationship<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n I will be generous with forgiveness<\/strong><\/p>\n \n \n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" While originally, this site was dedicated to Neal Miller, I thought that it is very much appropriate to reserve here some space to other biofeedback leaders who passed away. In some countries there is a\u00a0burial place where all the leaders … Continue reading Hershel Toomim<\/span><\/h2>\n
![\"hershel1\"](\"http:\/\/nealmiller.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/hershel1.jpg\" "\\"hershel1\\"")
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\nHe was in Hospice in Jacksonville, Florida. <\/span>Hershel<\/span> had just turned 95 on June 19, 2011.<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\n\n