In Memoriam – Hershel Toomim

While originally, this site was dedicated to Neal Miller, I thought that it is very much appropriate to reserve here some space to other biofeedback leaders who passed away.

In some countries there is a burial place where all the leaders of a nations are buried.

Sometimes the site is named after a specific leader, yet  this is grave site allocated for all the  leaders of the state – Presidents and Prime Ministers

I suggest that this site will be similarly named after Neal Miller – but it will be a place to remember other leaders in neuroscience, psychotherapy, behavioral medicine and biofeedback

Hershel Toomim

Hershel Toomim passed away at 4 am Tuesday  July 19, 2011.
He was in Hospice in Jacksonville, Florida. Hershel had just turned 95 on June 19, 2011.

A recent article (by Dave Siever) in Biofeedback (Volume 36, Issue 2, pp. 74-8) describes the full history of this great inventor.

I choose to share with the readers of this site a short poem-like that Hershel shared with me and allowed me to circulate .

Hershel Gave it the name “Who I want to be for you”

Hershel read it to a group of biofeedback practitioners in Israel in a virtual conference that was dedicated to Hemoencephalography

Being the man he is he choose to speak with us not only about his research but also about his belief and he read us this piece.

Arnon Rolnick

Who I want to be for you

I will remember that you need love as much as I do

I will give signs of love generously with praise, hugs

and passion

I will never say things to that I know will hurt you

I will speak the words of love only when I truly feel them, then I will speak freely

I will look for ways to enhance your self-esteem

I will will recognise your need to be heard and do my best to listen

I will w[ll try to understand the underlying message conveyed by your words

I will look to the underlying issues in both of us rather than look to blame

I will strive to look to imprints that you carry from childhood relationships and  take care to avoid areas where you have been wounded

I will express the needs I expect to be essential to you and not expect you to read my mind

I understand that you cannot understand all my needs perfectly

I will find alternatives that will not damage our relationship when you cannot meet my needs

I will carefully consider whether the gifts I choose to give are those you truly want

I will make sure any criticism is given in private in a way that will not shame you

I will choose my battles carefully evaluating which issues are so important tome that they are not negotiable

I will support you in pursuit of your interests and will encourage your curiosity and zest for lifemake sure

I will respond to your desires sexually as I as I wish you you to respond to mine

I will remind myself to magnify your positive qualities and use selective inattention for your negative ones

I will work at being the right partner for you

I will commit to working on this relationship

I will be generous with forgiveness